TOW They Pushed Too Far
by Llew
Summary: Focused on Chandler and what could happen if his childhood would've been slightly different.
1. Default Chapter

I already had three fourth of the next chapter of my other story "TOW The Lie" done and then my hard drive crashed. grrr And I was so mad that I had to let out some of my frustration. This is the result. If Chandler seems to be out of character that's because it's intentioned. He had a different childhood then the original Hugsy, uhm, Chandler. ups lol. ;-) And that's what this story is about. 'What would happen if…' It's Chandler's POV. Except the flashbacks, which are third person. Ok, now read, enjoy and hopefully review at the end.

Disclaimer: None of the characters used in this story are mine.

* * *

_You probably want to know why I'm here where I am right now. Ok, I'll tell you. But be warned. It's not a pretty story._

_I think, no, I know it all started when I was about four years old. I remember that my parents were always fighting with each other. And I think there was just to much rage in both of them. The result was that they often, well almost always relieved their anger on me. No, don't get me wrong. They didn't beat me or anything else physical. Although sometimes I think it would have been better then what they really did. The way they treated me affected me my whole life. They took away all my self-esteem. But thinking about it, it's more likely that they never let me build any confidence in the first place._

_You don't know what I'm talking about? Oh well, I guess you grew up in a more or less normal family then. Ok, let me take you back to a normal day during my childhood._

* * *

Charles and Nora Bing emerged from their separate bedrooms at the same time on a Wednesday morning, both on their way to the big bathroom. Nora scoffed at the sight of her 'loved' husband while he just rolled his eyes.

"I hope you don't think that you are going into the bathroom first." Nora seethed.

"You bet I am. I always use it this time around." Charles replied stepping in front of his wife, looking down at her.

"Well I have an early meeting today and all my stuff is in this bathroom. So you have to deal with it!" Nora was getting louder with each word.

"Oh, I don't think so! If you have an early appointment you should have gotten up earlier. I'm not running late just because you think you can meddle with the bathroom using schedule." Charles throw back.

While all of this was going on six years old Chandler Bing was lying in his bed with his pillow over his head, trying desperately to block out the sounds of his parents voices. He knew just to well what it meant when they fought already so soon in the morning. They would be irritated all day.

He heard a door slam and his father crying out. Apparently his mother had decided that the discussion was over and locked herself in the bathroom. But Chandler didn't care who was in the bathroom, he was more concerned about the one standing in the hall. He was sure they would come looking for him soon. And as if he was psychic, right then Charles opened the door and entered his sons bedroom.

"Chandler! What are you still doing in bed. You really are a good-for-nothing!" His father barked. "Now see that you get ready or you can walk to school."

Chandler hurriedly got out of bed. "But that is too far to walk, I wouldn't get there in time even if I'd go right now." Chandler said worriedly.

"I don't care! If you're not ready by the time I leave you can see how you get there." Charles said before turning around to leave. "It wouldn't make much of a difference anyway. You are just like your mother. You are just to stupid for school." That wasn't true by far. Chandler worked so hard to get his parents approval that he was one of the best students. But they just didn't care enough to recognize his effort. And Chandler knew better than to speak up. He was burnt to often by his parents to even try reasoning with them.

So he just hung his head and went to the second bathroom down the hall. Behind him he could hear his father banging at the door of the other toilette, yelling at Nora to hurry up.

After Chandler was dressed he went to the kitchen to make himself two sandwiches. One for school and one to eat right there. He just finished breakfast when his mother came into the kitchen and walked over to the counter.

"Chandler! Why can't you clean up after you made yourself something to eat?" She hissed while wiping some crumbs toward the sink.

"I just wanted to…" Chandler started, only to be interrupted by his mother.

"Save it! I can't hear your excuses anymore. When are you going to do something right? You are such a disappointment." Nora sighed. "You are just like your father."

Chandler bit his bottom lip to keep the threatening tears at bay. Why couldn't he do everything right, so that his parents would love him? He wished he could at least do some things right once in a while. But he slowly lost hope that he would ever be able to do something the way he was supposed to. No matter how hard he tried, it never worked out.

Silently Chandler took his bag from the chair and went to the front door to wait for his father.

_

* * *

And that was pretty much what my childhood was like. When I was nine my parents got divorced. That meant that they couldn't put me down constantly. But by that time there wasn't much damage to do anyway. Five years of regularly criticism had left their mark. And then came the loneliness. My father left to Las Vegas to open a gay burlesque show. I didn't know what that meant but it had to be better then living with my mom and me. And my mother was always out partying with college boys. By the time I started High School she sent me away to an all boys boarding school. So she just had to deal with me during summer and the holidays._

_At boarding school I shared my room with five other boys. They learned pretty soon how to take advantage of my nonexistence self-worth. So I became their, well bitch. I had to clean the room, make all the beds and pretty much always do their homework. So as you can most likely see, they had no respect for me. They always ignored me as if I weren't there or they made jokes about me. I just stayed by myself most of the times and hoped for graduation day to come. I spent days and nights dreaming about the time when I could go to college. Then it would all change. Then there would be no one to tell me what to do. Or so I thought._

* * *

"Chandler, I can't believe you are already going to college." Nora whined picking at her salad. She was sitting across her son at a table in a small New Yorker restaurant. "You grew up so quickly. I still see you as my little boy."

"Maybe that's because you haven't really seen me since I started High School." Chandler mumbled into his glass before taking a sip.

"Did you say something, Chandler?" Nora asked. But went on before he could answer. "And that you don't even want to move into a dorm room. Are you sure you are going to be ok. Living alone with this stranger, what's his name, Kip, in an apartment?" His mother rambled on. "Cause I sure hope not that you're coming back home in a month cause it didn't work out." Nora pointed her fork at Chandler.

"No, mother. Don't you worry." Chandler replied with his eyes cast downwards. He hadn't seen that one coming. And it really hurt to hear his mother say something like that. In his years away he had almost forgotten how it was like in the presence of his parents. He was so glad to finally be on his own. And his roommate Kip seemed like a nice guy.

Two and a half months later Chandler was sitting in his room adding the last touches to a paper due the next day. He faintly heard Kip emerging from his room shuffling towards the fridge. Moments later Chandler was interrupted by the fridge door slamming. He already knew what would come next.

"Chandler! Could you come out here for a sec?" Kip yelled with a cold hint in his voice. Chandler sighed and pushed himself away from his desk.

"What is it?" He asked his roommate after he entered the living room.

"I thought I had told you to buy more beer. But here is no beer." Kip gestured to the fridge before walking over to where Chandler stood. "What is your problem? Are you to dumb to run the errands I tell you to get?" He nearly shouted directly in Chandlers face.

Chandler just stood there with sagging shoulders, his head hanging, feeling like he did when he was six years old. 'Why can't I do anything right? I should know better by now. I guess I really am stupid.'

TBC...

* * *

Ok, that's the beginning. Can Chandler escape his personal hell or is he doomed to be abused and taken advantage of till his end? Should I continue or not? You have to tell me. And criticism is always welcome. As long as it's constructive. ;-) 


	2. Chapter 2

I'm back from my 'forced' vacation and I have a new chapter for this long ago started story. The next chapter for my other story should be posted soon too.

And now enjoy.

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_That was how things were like for the next two years. Well, if you looked at it practically, I had no real life. I more or less threw myself into my studies. And at home I had to endure the same treatment I received since I could think. But by then I had more or less stopped to think about it as wrong. It was that way from the beginning and it would be that way till the end. My will to fight or do something about my situation was broken. Or was it never there to begin with? I don't know._

_But then the hope came back into my life. And it came in shape of a woman._

_Monica…_

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Chandler was sitting on the couch watching TV when a knock on the door pulled his attention away from the lifesaving taking place on the screen. Well, to be correct his attention was more on the actresses clad in small red swimming suits then on the plot of the show. He pulled himself up and strolled over to the door while looking over his shoulder, eyes still glued on the television. Just as he reached the door and put his hand on the handle the person on the other side knocked a second time.

"Hi! I'm your new neighbor, Monica." Said the young woman excitedly and extended a hand to shake. She was getting a little nervous when Chandler just stood there, his mouth open, watching her. "Ehm, are you alright." She questioned.

If he was alright? He was more than alright. There in front of him stood the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. 'Well, in real life anyway.' He thought and smiled a little. Then he realized that she was getting uncomfortable because of his staring, so he tried to snap out of his fantasies.

"Oh, sorry. Just got a little lost in my thoughts." He quickly said. "Yeah, I'm alright. Chandler, by the way. Ehm, that's my name. I mean…" He was starting to sweat as he tried to get a halfway logical sentence out. But he relaxed when she giggled.

"Chandler. That's quite an unusual name…I like it." She said, smiling at his nervousness.

Chandlers face broke into a big smile. She liked his name. That had to be a lie. Maybe to be polite. But he was in heaven nonetheless. And again staring at her.

"Hey! Don't leave me again." She said with amusement in her voice. "Anyway, I just wanted to say that my name is Monica and that I live now right there." She pointed at the apartment behind her. "And…I think that is all. But…maybe we could do something together sometime? Getting to know each other…" She trailed of when she saw the look on his face. She couldn't quite place it. But it seemed like he was afraid of the thought to spend time with her.

"Oh, sure. Maybe sometime. Ehm, ok…nice meeting you Monica. But…ehm, I have to go back to my books now. Y'know, college." Chandler said as Monica looked over his shoulder to see his TV running with this new show on, 'Bayguard' or something like that. "And my roommate is coming home soon and I have to…" Chandler stopped. "Ok, I'll see you." And with that he closed his door leaving a dumfounded Monica alone in the hall.

He observed through the peephole how Monica turned around to go into her apartment with a confused look on her face.

He exhaled audible and turned around to lean his back against the door. She wanted to get to know him. That thought scared him to his inner core. Sure, he would love to know her. And in a perfect world he could even see someone like her as his girlfriend. But this wasn't a perfect world by far and he had long lost his trust in the people around him. Now he was petrified every time he had to meet people he didn't know.

Chandler still stood in front of the door when ten minutes later Kip tried to get into the apartment.

"What the…Chandler what are you doing?" Kip demanded to know loudly after he pushed the door open forcefully.

"Nothing. I was just thinking." Chandler quietly said.

"And you can't think in your room? That is, if you can even think at all." Kip said with a smirk on his face. "You have to go there anyway. I have some friends coming over." Kip ordered before he went to his room to change his clothes.

When Kip came out of his room ten minutes later he found Chandler sitting on the couch.

"Chandler! Didn't I say you should go to your room?" Kip yelled. "What if my friends had come in already? Huh? You know I don't want them to be bothered with you!"

Chandler just starred at Kip. He didn't know why but he felt the urge to stand up for himself against Kip. Maybe it was that girl from before which awoke this side in him. But that feeling didn't stay for long. His little resistance was broken when Kip hit him upside the head.

"What are you staring at, stupid? Move it!" Kip pulled him up from the sofa and pushed Chandler in the direction of his room. Defeated Chandler walked inside and closed the door.

Chandler wasn't sure what happened out there right then. He had felt a strange will inside himself pushing him to speak up. He had never felt anything like that before. His thoughts were too confused to come to a conclusion. So he lied down on his bed and tried to bring his mind in order. He hadn't made much progress when there was a knock on the door for the second time that day. It couldn't be Kip's friends because they never knocked.

**************

Monica sat at her new kitchen table. She didn't know why but she couldn't get her neighbor out of her mind. He seemed nice. There was just something about him that she couldn't grasp. He appeared in some way vulnerable like a little child. It was something in his eyes, she concluded. They held an innocence in them she'd never seen in a man's eyes. But there was also a great deal of pain and hurt visible that made her want to hug him and never let go.

Monica decided that she would try again to get to know him. She had seen that she had frightened him before. So she thought when she talked to him again she would be more subtle and careful in her approach to get him to open up a little. She had a feeling that the two of them would make great friends. And she could use a friend. Although she had wished to move away from her parents and be on her own since she could remember that didn't mean that it didn't scared her to be alone in the big city.

There is no time than the present. So Monica got up from the chair and made her way through her own door ready to knock on the one across from her apartment. She just lifted her hand to knock when she heard a man yelling. She stopped her fist in midair and leaned her ear closer to the wood. The voice was too muffled to understand but she was sure she heard Chandler's name.

'Maybe Chandler has an argument with his roommate.' Monica thought. Although she found it weird that she couldn't hear Chandlers voice. 'Wouldn't he yell too if it would be a fight?' Monica realized that the screaming had stopped and that her ear was still pressed against the door. She straightened herself and then knocked.

*******************

Curious as to who was at the door Chandler climbed out of his bed. But just as he was about to open the door to the living room he heard Kip answer the apartment door.

"Why hello. How may I help you?" Kip asked flirtingly while giving Monica the look-over.

"Oh, ehm…my name is Monica. I've moved into the apartment across the hall today." Chandler heard Monica's voice.

"Ah, that is nice." Kip replied. "Up till now there lived this really ugly old woman. I'm glad to see that at least now there lives some one as beautiful as you." With that he winked at her.

Monica looked at him, shocked about the behavior of this guy.

"Ok, yeah. That was my _grandmother_." Monica said firmly.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know that." Kip said as an apology. "Y'know, I have a weird sense of humor." He laughed.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Monica replied already knowing that she didn't like this man. "Anyway, I came by to talk to Chandler."

"Hmm…I'm sorry but Chandler is not here right now." Kip lied. "But I make sure to tell him you came by."

"Ehm…ok." Monica said slowly. Either this guy talked to himself then or Chandler was at home and he was lying. And Monica would bet all her money on the second possibility. "I come back later then." With that she turned around and walked back into her apartment.

Kip closed his door after Monica disappeared inside her apartment. He turned on his heels and stomped over to Chandler's room. When Chandler heard Kip coming he quickly laid down on his bed and pretended to be asleep. He jerked up when Kip barged into his room.

"What did you hear?" Kip wanted to know.

Chandler tried his best to look puzzled.

"What do you mean? Did something happen?"

"So you didn't hear that someone was at the door?" Kip asked suspiciously.

"No. I was asleep. Why? Who was at the door?"

"Nobody of your interest." Kip said. "And if you know what's good for you, you should stay away from our new neighbor."

"You mean Monica? Why should I stay away from her?" Chandler asked baffled.

"Because I say so! Do you really think she would want to get to know a loser like you?" Kip replied. "Oh god, you think she likes you. Don't you?" Kip laughed as he saw the look in Chandler's eyes. "Well, forget about it, buddy. You don't really think a beautiful woman like her could be interested in a pathetic loser like you, do you?"

"No." Chandler mumbled with his head down.

"I thought so." Kip said triumphantly. "Well, I can't waste more time on your stupid little fantasies. My friends should be here any minute." With that he left Chandler's bedroom.

Chandler sat a few moments in his room when suddenly an idea hit him. He stood up and went into the living room. Kip looked up from the couch, a questioning look on his face.

"I think I go for a walk. And I have to run some errands too. We are short on almost everything." Chandler was nervous. And when he was nervous he tended to talk too much. But luckily Kip didn't pick up on it.

"Yeah, whatever. As long as you are out of my sight." With that Kip turned his concentration back on the TV.

Chandler grabbed his jacket and left the apartment.

******************

He knew what he wanted to do. And Kip would be busy with his friends. So he wouldn't miss Chandler.

TBC...

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Ok, now that you read it please leave me a review and tell me what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

And here it is. The newest chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

_There I stood in the hallway. Just moments before I was so sure of what I wanted to do. I wanted to do something for me for a change. I wanted to knock on the door in front of me. I wanted to get to know my new neighbor Monica. I wanted…_

_It's really scary how all your confidence and bravery can evaporate into thin air in the matter of seconds. I was so pathetic back then…who am I kidding. I still am pathetic._

_Anyway, back to the hallway. If someone would have seen me there they could have seen how my resolve broke down. My head began to lower, my shoulders slumped…my whole existence seemed to shrink._

* * *

The sound of people coming up the stairs jerked Chandler out of his irresolution. That had to be Kip's friends and Chandler really didn't want to still be standing there when Kip opened the door for them. So he chose the easiest way out. Knocking on Monica's door would have been the hardest way, and he didn't want to enrage Kip further with going back into his apartment. That only left the way up the stairs as an escape.

He didn't know how long he stood at the wall surrounding the roof just looking over the city and thinking about his life. But if he considered the pain in his legs from standing too long in the same spot he would guess it had been at least an hour.

* * *

"Our last fight was my fault." Ross, Monica's older brother stated after boring Monica for a good part of the afternoon with always the same stories about his problems with his live-in girlfriend Carol. She didn't know how many times she had tried to help him and Carol. But every time it looked like things were finally getting better for those two it all started anew. And now Monica just couldn't find the strength anymore to sympathize with their problems. So she used Ross' rambling to think about her new neighbor.

"She asked me 'What's on the TV?'" Ross explained. "And just to annoy her I said, 'Dust!'"

Monica, startled out of her reverie by that last statement, asked "What's on the TV?" looking over at her entertainment unit, not seeing any of the dirt Ross apparently claimed to have noticed.

Ross who was lazily sitting on the couch replied without looking up "Dust." And took another gulp of the beer he was drinking. If he had looked up he would have seen his sister's face color changing to a deep red. Obvious to the danger he was in he put the bottle down on the table missing the coaster for a good three inches.

That was too much for Monica. She tried to contain her anger. But that just managed to make her voice a menacing hoarse whisper. "Get out." She said to the man before her, still engrossed with a show about Ancient Greek History.

Monica repeated her request, this time sounding even more pissed.

"I said: GET OUT!" She lost the battle for self-control and her anger erupted. An astound Ross let himself be pulled up by his sister and got shoved out of the door before he even knew what was going on.

"And don't come back here before you know how to behave." Monica pointed her finger at a still confused Ross. "There is no dust on my TV or anywhere else inside my apartment."

Ross' face broke out in a big grin when he finally understood his sister's weird behavior. He raised his hands in a calming manner.

"Monica…Monica calm down. I didn't say _your_ TV was dusty. I meant our – mine and Carol's." He saw the redness of Monica's head – before a sign of rage – slowly wander into her ears. An unmistakable sign of embarrassment he recognized from times when she humiliated herself on previous points in her life. "Ok, you know what? I better get going now anyway." He patted his sister on the shoulder and turned around to leave only to almost stumble over a man standing a few feet behind him.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" Ross started to apologize but got interrupted by the stranger.

"No, no, it was my fault. I shouldn't have stood so close behind you."

Before Ross could start a new apology both men's attention got drawn to Monica.

"Chandler, you are back." Monica said. "I went to your apartment to talk to you earlier."

"Oh." Was all Chandler could say. He didn't want to lie to Monica but he couldn't very well say he knew that she had tried to visit him.

"Well, I'm taking off." Ross broke the silence after a few moments. When neither his sister nor the unfamiliar man acknowledged him Ross turned around and left.

Monica and Chandler kept staring at one another till Chandler jumped when he heard a loud whooping coming from the apartment behind him.

"Why don't you come inside for a while?" Monica gestured toward her residence. "Maybe I could make you a coffee and we could talk for a while?"

Chandler threw one more glance over his shoulder at his own door before turning back to Monica with a small smile on his face.

"I would like that."

Monica couldn't resist smiling back when she noticed how his eyes seemed to sparkle even when it was just a small smile like the one he was giving her that moment.

* * *

_After that Monica and I became the best of friends. At least that's what it felt like for me. She was the first person in my life who never gave me the feeling of being worthless. Instead she treated me with respect and often asked for my opinion._

_Of course I never told Kip about Monica and the time we spent together. I simply told him that I had a couple extra courses at college I had to attend to cover for all the time I spent with Monica. And since he usually worked during the afternoon I got away with that lie._

TBC...

* * *

Thanks for reading. And a special big thanks for all the loyal readers who waited patiently for this update.

Now, please review.


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